She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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