Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
