You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Randomize
