sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
