you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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