Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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