so that wasnt chicken after all
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
