i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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