A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
