Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
