last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
