so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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