I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
