Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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