Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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