Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
