my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
