he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
His nipple licking is glorious
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