Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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