$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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