How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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