I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
