and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
