I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
accomplished twins. life is a go
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
