Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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