So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Let's paint friendship bongs
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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