Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Can I color on your dick again?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
