I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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