David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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