i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
