we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
