My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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