ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize