Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
