Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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