Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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