Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
