he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
