put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
