Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
