Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
