no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Hippo gnu deer
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
