Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
True but thats because hes a fetus.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
