so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
