I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
