someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
