i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
All the doctor said was why
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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