it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
