The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
