either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
